Self Health - When Nothing Else Works

If you think of what is truly important to you in all areas of your life - the people, the experiences and even the material things you love having around you, all of these things that you value and provide you with happiness can be impacted by one thing - your health.

If you’re unwell, finding happiness in the moment is near impossible and just making it through the day can be challenging. Nowadays, health is more than just a physical condition, it’s mental and spiritual. Physics and psychological research has recognised that mental health is essential to physical health, because if the unconscious mind is working so hard dealing with the mental challenges, then the running of the ship (the body) comes in second at best.

However, health seems to be the one area we, as a modern society, seem to be struggling with the most. We rely upon the advice of doctors, nutrition experts and governments as to what is right for us in the area of our mental and physical health and yet, that advice seems to change or is contradicted almost weekly! This indicates that we still don’t know what’s right for us, why it’s going wrong and we don’t know how to change it.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) is the guide by which psychologists and psychiatrists determine what mental issue a person has. This guide alone has grown exponentially over the last 30 years, as have the pharmaceutical options for treatments. The DSM has gone from having just four known mental conditions to over 400, all provided with an over-the- counter drug solution. However, there are many cases where the pharmaceutical option has caused more problems with side effects or worse - death.

The modern western medical model has provided us with great improvements and a longer life, however it too, is to be questioned as it has almost enslaved us by our expectations that it can fix it all. Many doctors now are so afraid of getting a diagnosis wrong they are submitting their patients to expensive, extensive, invasive tests which can also cause complications and long term issues.

In addition to this, our modern way of living has increased obesity, heart disease, diabetes and autism. Prostrate and breast cancer seem to be thriving and as yet, we haven’t see the government or medical model provide any answers to the causes of the disease. Is it what we’re eating? Is it the chemicals we spray on our food? Genetic modification? Vaccinations? Or is it what we are feeding the animals that end up on our table? Is finding the causes of our diseases too hard because it would create a problem in the industry that is causing the problem? Why is the government and medical science only looking for solutions to the symptoms and not hunting down the cause?

This sounds really scary, doesn’t it! What is really scary is how reliant we are on the modern medical system, with the over-the-counter drugs and doctor and surgery treatment options. You may have even ventured into alternative health solutions. However, unless that solution is looking beyond treatment of the symptoms then we are really just looking at band-aid solutions, as the causes are never found that way. Ask any doctor the question “why have I got this?” and they can’t answer that. They don’t know why, they are only trained to treat the symptoms.

There is another option, but it involves something that most people have forgotten or have never had the thought or option to do and that is to take full responsibility for their own health – mental and physical and stop giving your power away to another person.  You may even be questioning if that is even possible! Yes it is.

Am I telling you not to go to the doctor or hospital if you are ill? No, I am not. I do believe in the value of a good medical system and if you are sick then they can help you overcome the symptoms, but they can’t tell you why your body failed you. Each person is unique, there is no one size fits all system and the medical model is run by humans, which implies that it cannot be perfect. What you need to do is to work with the system but not surrender yourself to it (see the case example below). 

You can start by addressing your physical health, but unless you also address your mental health then you are really just working on a band-aid solution. Get yourself sorted out mentally and the body will follow and improve. There is research that shows that our disease and physical issues are linked to our emotions and past traumas. Just think about how your body feels on a bad day, or if you are stressed, how your body tenses up and often headaches occur. So let’s start there.

Mental health is more than just taking a mental health day here and there. It’s a change of your mental approach to life, even under the most extreme circumstances. If you are prone to stress, anxiety, depression or mood swings then the chances are that you have had experiences in life that have taught you how to react in situations and those lessons have not been helpful.

Up to the age of six, we are like little mental sponges and we learn our beliefs and values by watching those around us and by our negative experiences. So if you have a belief as an adult that you’re not good enough and constantly have to perform to a perfect standard, which causes you to be stressed out, self-judgemental and anxious, then it’s highly likely you have learnt this belief from an incident in early childhood and it’s been repeated over your life-time. The result of negative belief systems can impact your mental and physical health. Your reaction to life can create stress which turns on the reptilian part of your brain’s fight, flight and freeze response and thus causes the other bodily functions (such as digestion, immune functions and hormone functioning) to take a back seat. If you look around you, how many people do you know who get stressed out easily and are constantly sick or have allergies, intolerances or other health problems? Stress is a killer. Stress is caused by our cognitive approach to the experiences in our life and can be experienced even in the womb (babies react to their mother’s stress).

Our unconscious mind is similar to a filing system, everything is stored away in it and we constantly refer to these files to determine how we react to every situation. You are programmed to respond automatically, which allows your brain to concentrate on your bodily functions. Can you change this? Yes, you can. There are simple techniques that can be used to help you reprogram how you respond and these techniques can be done by you. Some of these you already know, others you have yet to learn, but they are all available to you here, now.

• Exercise – it’s a fact that regular exercise helps reduce stress and create happy hormones in the body.
• Meditation – very good for relaxation and helping the body switch out of stress reaction. It requires regular application to be effective.
• Mindfulness – helps us recognize how and why we mis-take the actuality of things for some story we create, and then makes it possible to chart a path toward greater sanity, well-being, and purpose.
• Energy Psychology – is a combination of techniques which treat and relieve suffering from emotional challenges such as addictions & compulsions, anxiety, depression, limiting beliefs, personality disorders, phobias, stress, and trauma and also help maximize human performance in business, sports and the arts. One of the simple techniques is Meridian tapping which is simple to learn and to apply and a fantastic Self Help technique.
• BodyTalk Access – Developed by an Australian Dr John Veltiem and now supported by the International BodyTalk Association to be taught in developing countries to anyone where medical assistant and medicine is not readily available – 5 simple wellness techniques which help the body to invoke natural powerful immune responses for illness, allergies, intolerances, toxins and fungal conditions, restore the body’s natural tension and integrity between the muscles, tendons, ligaments and connective tissue and therefore reduce physical pain, balance the cortices of the brain allowing for more focus and mental response and lastly, to switch off the stress response in the brain and calm yourself down.

Now if you are prepared to take control of your emotional health by employing one of the above methods, then you will naturally start taking control of your physical health and seek more balance diet, drink less and stop sabotaging your exercise regime.

So now you know what you could do the next step is to find out how to do it. The first step is to find someone who can teach you how and then apply it for yourself. This can be done through the internet (EFT is freely available on the internet to learn) or you can attend a workshop locally that provides you with the ability to learn with others and experience the technique in an environment where you can ask questions and explore. Regular workshops for Meridian Tapping, meditation, mindfulness, stress reduction and BodyTalk Access are available in Coffs Harbour through the Mind and Body Institute (http://www.mindandbodyinstitute.com.au/Workshops.html – 1300 646 326) or Pam’s Studio (http://www.pamelamillican.com.au/ - 0423 214 320).

For more information about these techniques you can also attend free information evenings at the Coffs Harbour Cavanbah Centre (corner of Harbour Drive and Earl Street) 6-7pm on the following dates:

• Monday 19 July 2010
• Monday 16 August 2010
• Monday 13 September 2010
• Monday 8 October 2010
• Monday 11 November 2010

During these free information evenings you’ll be able to experience Meridian tapping and one of the BodyTalk Access techniques as well as finding out about available workshops for meditation, mindfulness, meridian tapping and BodyTalk Access.

Case Example – Taking control of your cancer
A great example of taking control is Christine who was diagnosed with breast cancer at the age of 48. After her initial shock and panic, she did her research, and discussed her treatment with her Oncologist. She told him she was happy to have the lump removed but not have any chemotherapy or radiation treatment as she knew they would greatly affect her quality of life. He agreed to that, based on the cancer not spreading to her lymph nodes. In fact, the cancer was found in two out of the three lymph nodes they removed for testing. However, again, Christine had done her research and could show him data from scientific journals that say that the maximum her life would be extended was 8.6% (maybe less) by radiation and at most 5% by chemotherapy - in fact the Oncologist said that overall chemotherapy only helps about 30% of patients, the rest get no benefit. He also agreed to her request for no mammograms or any other forms of ionising radiation, since they could increase a person’s risk of breast cancer (she showed him some scientific evidence to back this up). The treatment approach she put forward was to lose weight, walk 6-7kms per day, take a natural anti-oestrogen reducing supplement, avoid all plastics, eat organic food and take vitamin and herbal supplements. She of course, had the evidence to show him that this would help reduce the risk of the cancer returning. The Oncologist agreed to check her progress every 3 months and to have thermal imaging done (no radiation). So essentially, all Christine had done was to have the lump and 3 lymph nodes taken out (with a 78% chance that they got it all) and take full control of her health. She’s now getting on with her life and doing well.

Understanding why you’ve failed before is the key to learning how you can succeed in the future.  All life changes are done in stages and we can help you to navigate the challenges and prepare yourself for success for the first time.

Many of us attempt a major change in our lifestyle and fail.  It should be easy, right?  Getting fit, quiting smoking, eat healthily or making career change all seem to be achieveable, so why do many of us fail to make the change the first, second and subsequent times?

Change is a process, not just action.  The first stage of change is before you actually realise you need to do something about your life!  It’s even before you become aware of how your lifestyle is negitively affecting you, your health and even your loved one’s lives.  It really comes home to roost when you finally admit how your life is making you, your family or your friends miserable or frustrated.

However, the biggest mistake at this stage is to try and change for another person’s agenda.

“If your success is not on your own terms, if it looks good to the world but does not feel good in your heart, it is not success at all” - Anna Quindlen

When you define the change in terms of what you need to do, then you are more likely to succeed.  You’ll know the signs by the lack of the four R’s - Reluctance, Rebellion, Resignation and Rationalisation.  It’s at this point that you move into the second stage of the change process - Contemplation!

Unfortunately, you may get stuck in the contemplation stage for a while as you’ll be seeking absolute assurance that changing will work and will be right for you.  This is especially true when the change involves a level of risk such as seeking a relationship or going from employee to business owner.  The best way through this stage for anyone is to do a Pros and Cons list.  In essence, you determine what are the consequences to you and others if you make the change and what are the the consequences  for you and others if you don’t.  By doing this you will gain clarity and be able to determine if you really want to change.  If you are ready, then the next stage is critical and the area that most people fall down in.  

Preparation involves more than just thinking about what to do, it involves effective planning and support.

You wouldn’t build a house without a plan so you can’t expect to change your life without putting all the important building blocks in place.  This includes:

• Researching what you need to do
• Creating an environment that supports and encourages you to succeed
• Setting a date for the change
• Planing the steps to make the change
• Getting the right support
• Being accountable to yourself and to another

Warning - the right support may not be your friend, partner or family member.  They may want you to suceed to begin with but may also get scared by the change in you the further you go along.  That’s why it’s important to get an independent support network going with people who are not affected by your change.

Planning involves identifying the steps and also creating a vision of what your new life will look and feel like.  Studies have shown that great achievers in every field often create visions of what they want - visually!  The mind works best with visual prompting.  Brainstorm all the different options and actions available to you to get where you want to be.  Don’t screen them to start with - leave even the seemingly impossible ones.  At the end you can review and select the approach that you are able to commit to.

Research from the American Society for Training & Development shows that people who embarked on a significant life change have the following chance of success:

               10% with no preparation

              40% if you set an end date for your change

              50% if you have a plan

              65% if you told someone about your change

              95% if you had the right support who held you accountable

As you go along, focus on your next steps and don’t get too far ahead or over analyse otherwise you will get off track.  Your support person can help you here.  They should be the one you regularly report your progress to and also keeps you accountable.  If you do find yourself not following through on the change, then your support person is be able to help you identify what’s getting in your way.

That’s why getting assistance from a Life Coach can be helpful as they understand the process of change and can help you navigate it so you succeed.  If you’re on your own, then just remember - there is no such thing as failure - only learning.  And success is not the key to happiness,  happiness is the key to success - your frame of mind is key to helping you to achieve your desired life.  When you are well prepared, action becomes easy and the change becomes lasting.

When it all goes to hell in a morning!

If you're a mum or a dad then you'll know what it feels like to have one of those days where everyone seems to be fighting you.  The kids yell at you because you're trying to get them out the door and their priorities are on something else, like the Wii or playing with their toys or getting dressed up.  You're husband/wife is annoyed with you because you haven't given him/her your attention or listened to them and yet they have overlooked everything you did for them - how ungrateful!  You feel pulled from pillar to post and finally you snap and yell at everyone, they look at you like deer in head lights, and you stomp off feeling angry and crappy because you didn't remain cool and calm under fire like the perfect parent would!

Everyone has bad days and bad moments with your loved ones.  The issue is whether you are going to continue to wallow in your guilt and anger or work through that and devise a strategy for when you face them again.  The first thing is to face your emotions about the event.  When this happens to me (and it does, because I admit, I am human), I like to use the sweet small space between the angry at them and the self flagellating thoughts of myself to catch myself and STOP!  Take a breath in, breath into my heart space and pick the one thought that bothers me most and do "the work" on that.  By "the work" I mean the 4 questions that Byron Katie used on herself continually to question her thoughts and has shared with the world (thankyou Bryon).  These questions are self enquiry, done with an open heart and with lots of compassion for yourself and the other.  Here are the questions:

1. Is it true? (Be still. Wait for the heart’s response. A simple Yes or No)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Can you really know that what you believe is true?)
3. How do you react, what happens, when you believe that thought? (What do you experience? Anger, stress, frustration?  How does this reaction feel in your body? Does that thought bring stress or peace into your life? Be still as you listen).
4. Who would you be without the thought? (Close your eyes. Picture yourself in the situation that caused you stress and now see it change as you release that belief - how does that feel? So much better right?)

Byron also suggests that we do at least 3 "turn arounds" on the thought - so if I thought "He should be grateful for all that I do for him", I could turn this thought around as such:

I should be grateful for all that I do for him
He should not be grateful for all that I do for him
I am not grateful for all that he does for me

Each one of those statements is just as true as my original thought - just think them through and you'll see the truth in that.  What this process does is move us out of problem/blame/anger mode and from us focusing on the problem to examining our thoughts and uncovering new perspectives and realities which do bring us peace.  Do this for every stressful thought that came out of the blow up and you suddenly have a new perspective.

OK. So now what?  You still have to face them when you return to the house.  How will you handle that?  Most people still go into this situation carrying those negative thoughts and beliefs, but you've just let them go.  You also have a new appreciation for how they may feel.

Get real and say your sorry.  Acknowledge what was going on for them and also for you.  Own your own emotions and warped thinking at that time and tell them what you think was happening for you and what you saw.  Talk about what your needs are - what would you like to happen if this situation or something similar rises again?  Ask them for help and ideas.  You'll be surprised at how inventive even the little ones can get.

And the best part about taking this approach is that you are modeling good behaviour to little ones - they learn from you.  Do you really want them to grow up and not be able to face their feelings, apologise for their behaviour and instead blow up at their loved ones?  Of course you don't.

For more details about "The Work" please see Byron Katie's website - www.thework.com

A New Decade - Isn't it time you got Unstuck?

At this time of year many people decide that this year will be different. This is the year they will make a change, get off the “treadmill” for once and for all. Then they make a goal, set a start date and throw themselves into it, or perhaps find reasons why they can't start this week. For those who throw themselves in at the deep end, only a few will make it to the other end. For those who don't, then the “treadmill” appears again, as they revert to previous sabotaging behaviours and patterns, ‘beat themselves up,’ let down their family, friends and themselves and get nowhere.  Why does this happen?

Do you know anyone who tried losing weight, only to put it back on? Or, do you know someone who stopped smoking, only to start again a few months later? Perhaps you know someone who said, they were going to change their job because they hated the one they had and they still haven’t done anything about it? Are you the one who is stuck?

‘Stuck’ can be different for each one of us...

Vanessa and Sharon know all about being stuck, having been there themselves, and by helping many people overcome their ‘stuckness’.  Change is a process and understanding the steps needed to change and, removing mental barriers is something that we understand and do well. Whether that change is improving your health, relationships, releasing physical and emotional pain, overcoming an addiction, restoring your hope and possibilities for your life or providing meaning to your life, Vanessa and Sharon can work with you to achieve your goals.

This is what two grateful clients had to say:

“I was fortunate enough to have Vanessa work with my immediate family, including my partner and our teenage daughter, using a range of coaching and healing techniques including Body Talk. The whole family benefited from her loving support, guidance and generosity of spirit and time. Her influence and impact on our family has helped bring us much closer and helped to heal some of the emotional issues within our family.”  (Joanna - Canberra)

“I recently had the most beneficial experience of a lifetime!  My session with Life Coach Sharon Chisholm has turned my life around in the most positive of ways.  After much thought about the direction my life was heading and the direction that I wanted to go I realised I needed some guidance as to where to start and how to set and achieve my life goals.  Sharon's advice and tips have certainly helped me in determining my life path.   Sharon is a true professional but her relaxed, friendly manner helped me immensely in being able to set and reach my goals.  Sharon leads by example.  She is a very determined, enthusiastic, friendly, funny and very confident person who is always keen to help others.  I would highly recommend her as a Life Coach.”  (Robyn, Mid North Coast)

Vanessa and Sharon use a variety of cutting edge techniques (for both mind and body), including wellbeing coaching, hypnotherapy, energy psychology, meta medicine and BodyTalk therapies.

It takes focus, courage and commitment to change, to build a healthy and rewarding life and, to follow your dreams.  Give us a call today to help you achieve your new year’s resolution or, to overcome your limiting beliefs and achieve a meaningful life.